god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
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Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
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I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
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