Screwed.edu
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize