I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I AM VODKA MAN
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
