Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
