She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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