Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
