ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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