Ambien. No doubt about it.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
