I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
