3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
