i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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