Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
