what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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