I look better un-naked...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
