So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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