He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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