Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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