Tell her she can't have a vagina
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize