new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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