I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Couch. On fire.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
