you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
