Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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