Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
