Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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