Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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