Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
