I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
