I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
