I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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