i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
