p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
