Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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