i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
