no, he came in my armpit
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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