dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
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he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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