dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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