Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
