I am spending my child support on dildos
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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