Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Actions speak louder than pants.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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