I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
