barbara walters just said penis...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
