Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
