is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
