I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
