i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize