this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
