LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
