y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize