and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
