never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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