roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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