He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
