well you can't waste a boner
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
