i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize