It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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