i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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