this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
