drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
