I should be sponsored by Trojan
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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