They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
