is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk