Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened