I wish I could punch you in the face.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.