On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories