***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
