Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Randomize
